Month: February 2017

You get to choose a lot of things in life, but family and co-workers aren’t among them. While family ties are set in stone, your work eco-system (and colleagues) comes with the job. But either ways, both your personal and professional relationships demand sincere effort and attention. It also stands to reason that when your day is mostly divided between family and work colleagues, differences and disagreements are bound to creep in. You know your family members – their disposition, sensibilities, etc. and can reconcile any differences easily with them. However, you might or might not have the luxury of knowing your coworkers so well, so how do you deal with any recalcitrant colleagues and develop a cordial working relationship with them?

Accept what you can’t change

The first rule of any conflict – real or perceived – is to accept what you can’t change. Sometimes, there is dissonance even among family members, but we learn to live with it if we can’t remedy it. Following a similar approach at work will let you steer clear of any flashpoints. It will help you develop a well-adjusted outlook and dial down your expectations from work colleagues so that you can have a functional relationship with them.

Manage your emotions

When so many people work together, conflicts are inevitable. Learn to choose which battles to fight and which to steer clear of. Maybe, you are smarter than your peers, but you’ll be labelled as difficult and argumentative if you try to counter every suggestion they make. So, reserve your dissent only for areas which substantially affect the outcomes. And when you do that, don’t let your personal biases hijack the argument.Be professional in your conduct during a disagreement and present a fact-based and reasonable argument. Remember the rule, “10% arguments happen because of what you say and 90% by how you say.”

Spend time with your colleagues

“There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish.” Mary Parker Follett

Instead of avoiding the colleagues you don’t like – as counterintuitive as it sounds – engaging in projects with such colleagues will help you see their perspective. Spending time with them will allow you to gain insight into their mind-set. You might discover the reasons behind their actions, and find that they have nothing to do with you. Maybe their personal life is in shambles, which is dictating their behaviour at work. This realization might make you more compassionate. However, if this experience doesn’t offer you any positives and your co-worker continues to stonewall your efforts for a harmonious working relationship, do what your better judgement tells you.

The last resort

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” Dale Carnegie

If all else fails, you might want to talk to your co-workers and give them an honest feedback. While doing so, choose your words carefully and talk only about the behaviors that they can control. Read the person’s temperament carefully before you do so. If they are receptive to feedback, give them an honest assessment of how their behaviour impacts your work performance, but if they come across as resentful and vindictive, you might want to tread cautiously. Also, be open to receiving feedback yourself. Chances are that there will be grudges on both sides. Remember, it takes two to tango.

Conclusion

In the end, remember that the feelings of frustration and disillusion stem from the belief that you have no control over things – be it your boss, or your difficult co-workers. You need to shake off the victim mentality and assume control. You can’t change their behaviours but you can manage your reactions to them. That, in itself, is an empowering feeling that allows you to navigate around such people effectively. Also, remember that everyone is trying to do their job, so strive to understand your colleagues’ perspective and never make it personal.

“If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secret of getting along–whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.” Bernard Meltzer

Source: LinkedIn

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” – Jim Ron

Historically, leadership has been held synonymous with emotional detachment, and the ability to take dispassionate decisions has, for long, been recognized as the true hallmark of a successful business leader. However, the changing employment landscape is slowly chipping away at the head-in heart-out precept of leadership and making compassion the centerpiece of management focus.

The rise of Compassionate Leadership

Much credit for the popularity of compassionate leadership goes to the new-age leaders like LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner and Salesforce CEO March Benioff. In his book, Compassionate Capitalism, Benioff talks about philanthropy and how it can be absorbed into the cultural fabric of a corporation.

Similarly, Jeff Weiner – a strong advocate of compassionate leadership – has adopted compassion as the core value at his organization. In his blog, Managing Compassionately, he has professed his endeavor to “expand the world’s collective wisdom and compassion,” and how he constantly strives to live up to his aspirations of being a compassionate leader.

Benioff’s and Weiner’s compassion-driven leadership style is highly inspirational, too. According to Glassdoor Employees’ Choice Awards, both the CEOs received a whopping 97% approval rating from their employees, making them America’s most-loved CEOs. This fact is especially significant for tech industry, where the war for talent has reached epic proportions. In an era where employees are spoilt for choices and companies are going out of their way to retain the top talent, compassionate leadership style could be a game-changer.

Compassion breeds innovation

Compassionate leadership style promotes trust among employees and fosters a culture of experimentation in the organization. In such an environment, the employees are less worried about making mistakes and more willing to put forward fresh ideas. Research corroborates that the most innovative companies are driven by leaders who demonstrate compassion, and allow room for risk-taking and mistakes.

Compassion with discernment equals success

A common misgiving about the emotionally intelligent and compassionate leadership is that it is not assertive, and hence not effective. This apprehension was tackled by Wharton Professor Adam Grant in his best-selling book, Give and Take, in which he has substantiated through extensive research that the people who care for their colleagues (Givers) – are over represented at the top of the success ladder compared to the self-centered ones (Takers). It is not hard to see why! Givers, being more empathetic and personable towards others, naturally enjoy more influence than the inward-looking Takers.

However, Grant says that the major difference between successful and unsuccessful Givers boils down to strategy. When Givers learn strategies to prevent others from taking advantage of them, their likeability becomes a propelling force and elevates their career prospects.

Compassionate Leadership is good for business

The leadership style has a bearing upon the fortunes of an organisation. In the best-selling book Good to Great, author Jim Collins describes how some organisations progress from being ‘good’ companies to ‘great’ companies, whereas others fade away. He links an organisation’s journey to greatness to its leadership style and chronicles how a compassionate leader can bring about this feat.

The Level 5 Leadership

While researching the leadership styles of various organisations, Collins found that the organisations that made the most successful transitions were led by what he calls ‘Level 5 Leaders’, who have the seemingly contradictory qualities of “great ambition” and “personal humility”. Collins observed that the focus of Level 5 Leaders’ ambition is not themselves but the greater good of the organisation. Such leaders enjoy a high degree of trust among their employees; are able to inspire them, and hence, enjoy the bottom-up support needed to be successful.

Characteristics of a compassionate leader

Leads by example: True leaders lead by example. They are able to nurture relationships, through small actions that build trust and confidence.

Transparency: They engage in transparent dealings and communication with the employees, which helps the employees align in a better way with the company’s vision.

Flexibility: A compassionate leader is capable of putting aside the rulebook and taking decisions on grounds of humanity.

Compassion is a trainable trait

While many people have compassion as an innate characteristic, studies suggest that it is a trainable behavior and can be developed over time with practice, coaching and introspection. The Dalai Lama sums it up the best when he says, “Every human being has the same potential for compassion; the only question is whether we really take any care of that potential, and develop and implement it in our daily life.”

Source: LinkedIn